Dean's Not-A-Log
by FandomlyYours
Summary: Dean reads a parenting book and decides that he'll keep a journal of Sammy. It turns into a journal of Winchester as Dean discovers that he's looking after more than just his little brother. Wee!chesters, antics and a little angst. Series of short stories.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This started as a random little thing I was writing for myself, so it may not be very well structured or accurate. I found it fun so I decided to post it. It will be posted in parts and there's no telling how long it will go for because it's like a set of short stories. They are written from Dean's perspective and change in tone as he ages. I hope you like it!**

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The book said that parents should keep a log. I tried to but then Daddy got mad and told me to take it out because it was a fire hazard. So I decided to just write down what happens instead. I'm not a parent but Daddy doesn't do anything that the book said to do so I thought I should do it because otherwise Sammy might not turn out right. I wonder if Mommy used the book before the fire took her away.

_Tuesday, May 1, 1984_

Tomorrow is Sammy's first birthday. I wanted to go and get him a present but my piggybank is gone because Daddy had to borrow it but then he didn't give it back. I asked him to help me get Sammy a present but he said no. He's too busy. So I am going to give Sammy one of my comic books. He can't really read them so I read them to him and make the sound effects. I don't think he understands what I'm saying but I think he likes it when I read to him. But I never let him have them because he just breaks them because he likes to eat everything even though it's not food. But it's his birthday so I am giving him a Superman one because he is Sam's favorite. I like Batman best but Sammy is scared of the Joker so we don't really read Batman much.

_Wednesday, May 2, 1984_

Today Sammy turned one! He also started to walk today! I was really excited and I ran to tell Daddy but he was too busy and just told me to go away. That's okay. I gave Sammy my special piece of chocolate that I was saving as a reward and we played together all day. He liked the comic book I think. It already has teeth marks but that's okay because he mostly eats things that he likes. He also likes to bite my hand but he never bites Daddy.

_Friday, May 18, 2984_

Sammy is sick today. Daddy is mad at me because I took Sam to play outside and Daddy said it's too cold and dangerous. He is trying to find a monster. He thinks it might be the fire that took Mommy. I don't understand because how can a monster be a fire? But Daddy said it's not safe outside and also it was raining and really cold so now Sammy has a cold and it's my fault. I feel very bad so I read Sammy comic books and we played puzzles. I wanted to watch TV too but Daddy said no. So I pretended to be Superman and I made Sam Lex Luthor and then we had a tickle fight until Daddy yelled at us to be quiet because he was working. That's okay. Daddy is busy a lot.


	2. Chapter 2

_Sunday, May 27, 1984_

We made some friends today. We are in a small town called something and Daddy was working so I asked if we could go for ice cream because it's really hot and he said okay. I took Sammy to the diner and we almost didn't get the ice cream because the person thought we had run away because she thinks I'm too small to be taking Sam by myself but I said that Daddy had said it was okay. She didn't really believe me so I told her Daddy's phone number and she called but then he shouted at her so she just let us have ice cream and wouldn't let me pay. She looked like she was sorry for us and I didn't really get it but I don't think she liked Daddy very much. We got strawberry because that's Sam's favorite even though I like vanilla. The woman said that we could go into the kitchen and make our own ice cream so we tried but then Sammy spilled a bowl of flavoring and I set an apron on fire so the kitchen people weren't too happy. But the woman said it was okay. She was very nice. She said that there was an oval out back and that some people like playing baseball there so we went to look and there were people playing! So me and Sammy asked if we could play and they said okay. We played for a bit but then we saw Daddy coming and so I went and said sorry for staying out so long but he sort of ignored me and got out his gun and then the people we were playing with got a bit scary and started coming towards us and Daddy started shooting at them. Then the woman came out of the diner and turned into a thingy so then Daddy shot her too and then we ran to the car and drove really far away. Sammy and I thought it was cool and scary but then Daddy was angry because he said we messed up the hunt. I said sorry but then I asked if we could go back again someday and play again and he said I was an idiot and kept driving so maybe that means yes. I hope so because they were fun even if they got scary.


	3. Chapter 3

_Sunday, June 3, 1984_

Sammy said his first word today! Well not really. It wasn't really a word. It sounded like "beleablurgh" but then he sort of went "eeeeeEEEE" and I think maybe he was trying to say Dean. I tried to make him say "Daddy" but then he got all frustrated and threw a cup at the wall so maybe not. I'm glad Daddy wasn't home because he would have been mad about the cup even though I cleaned it up.

_Thursday, June 21, 1984_

Sammy and me are hiding in my room because Daddy is in a bad mood. He nearly found the fire monster but then he didn't so he's really angry. He must be really thirsty because he is drinking a lot of stuff but he's also really angry and breaking stuff so maybe he's angry because his water is the wrong color. It's all funny and yellow. Maybe it's rotten. I am hiding with Sammy because Daddy tried to throw a book at me earlier and then he tried to grab Sammy so I grabbed Sam instead and went to my room and locked it. I can hear Daddy through a crack in the wall. He's saying lots of things that start with f but I can't understand him because he sounds funny and blurry like when I'm underwater and can't hear what people are saying. He's scary right now though so we are not going outside even though he is calling us names. Sammy got scared and started crying so I let him play with my action figure that I made myself. I told him not to break it. He bit the arm but then he looked like he felt bad so I don't think he will do it again

_Friday, June 22, 1984_

Daddy was sad today. He had a headache. I went to give him a hug and he hugged me back even though he never does. He picked up Sammy and put him in his lap and then picked me up too and hugged both of us and said sorry for being scary yesterday. Sammy poked him in the face and he just laughed but he sounded very tired. I hope he finds the fire monster soon.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This one takes place a bit after the last; that one was June, this is September. :)**

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_Saturday, September 1, 1984_  
Sorry I forgot to write stuff down. Nothing really happened except Daddy still hasn't found the monster but he didn't drink the rotten water this time, he just went outside and shot trees and stuff. Today Sammy said his first real word! I was doing some stuff for school and he was playing with the toy cars and then a wheel fell off and he didn't know how to fix it so he yelled "DEAN" and then he looked really surprised and I was too but then we got really excited and started dancing around until we knocked over a shelf and Daddy got angry again. But I told him that Sammy said his first word and Daddy smiled and asked what it was and I said it was Dean and he just looked really tired and went "that's good" and went back to his work. I think maybe he was sad that Sam didn't say Daddy but Sam doesn't really see Daddy much. Then I fixed Sammy's car because I want to be able to fix cars like Daddy does so I learned to fix small cars so I can fix big ones too. My friends at school all think it's cool.

_Wednesday, September 19, 1984_  
I was sick today so Daddy said I could stay home if I didn't bother him. I like staying home from school. School isn't really that fun because we move schools every couple of weeks which is bad because I can never fit in properly or stay with my friends. And I can hang out with Sammy. Sam was sick today too. We couldn't play much because we weren't feeling good but we read some books that I got from the library. I don't really like them but Sammy likes books so I found some pictures books and we like to read them together. Sammy is a fast learner. He can't read but he knows what I'm saying and likes to point at the pictures that show what I'm reading. I tried to make Daddy read to him but he didn't do that good and he just sounded bored and annoyed the whole time and Sammy got frustrated and walked off because Daddy doesn't stop to let him point at the pictures or do funny voices. Daddy got angry then and told me to keep the books to myself so I don't ask him to do it anymore.

_Sunday, September 30, 1984_  
Yesterday was really scary but also awesome. There was a monster that Daddy was looking for but we saw it too. It was under Sammy's bed. Daddy always checks for monsters and then puts salt around but Sammy tripped over the line and there was a gap so in the middle of the night a monster came. Sammy yelled a lot. I ran to see what was going on and there was a monster climbing into his crib so I shouted for Daddy and threw salt at the monster like Daddy told me. It hissed at me and started coming towards me and I didn't have any more salt so I was really scared until Sammy threw a toy car at its head. Then he jumped out and ran away so while the monster went to get him I jumped on its back and punched it REALLY hard in the head! Then it went to sleep. Daddy came then because he was in the basement so he didn't hear at first but then he came with his gun and he was surprised when he saw the sleeping monster. He was upset that Sammy broke the line but then he patted our heads and said we did okay. Then he shot the monster so I think it's gone now. I was really scared and so was Sammy so I let him sleep in my bed. He's going to stay in my room now because Daddy doesn't think he should be by himself and he doesn't want to be by himself either. And I don't want him to either. And can I tell you a secret? I don't want to be by myself as well because it was really scary. But it was really cool because we actually beat a monster! And we helped Daddy get rid of it! Maybe if we do it more then Daddy will be proud of me.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Short since I'm uploading in months now.**

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_Wednesday, October 31, 1984_

Today was Halloween! Me and Sammy were gonna go trick-or-treating but Daddy didn't let us because he said there was real monsters and it was too dangerous so we didn't get to go. But we ate lots of candy and we watched a scary movie. We had to turn down the loudness because Daddy didn't know and we didn't want him to be angry so we turned on the TV and covered it with a blanket and we got under too so we got a fort thing and it was really fun and also scary. Then Daddy came back from his hunting so we had to try and hide but he found us and just looked at the movie and sat down with us so we all watched it together. It was really fun. Sammy fell asleep while he was sitting on my lap but then I couldn't see so Daddy picked him up and Sammy gave him a hug while he was sleeping and I think that made Daddy happy because Sammy doesn't usually hug Daddy. It was the best Halloween ever.


	6. Chapter 6

_Thursday, November 15, 1984_

There's only a month or something until Christmas! Sam and me are really excited even though Daddy says we probably won't get too much time for presents but he said hopefully we might be able to get some stuff maybe. I hope we can because presents are the fun part and Sammy has never had a proper real Christmas before. Daddy promised he'd think about not hunting this Christmas but that he might have to. But he looks sad these days and looks at pictures of Mommy and us. I think he probably feels bad because we don't get to hang out like before. But that's okay. He's busy saving the world. But I hope we get Christmas.


	7. Chapter 7

_Tuesday, December 25, 1984_

IT'S CHRISTMAS! Today was the best day ever. Daddy got us presents even though he told us he couldn't. He wanted to surprise us. At midnight I heard a bump so I woke up Sammy and we got the pop guns with salt that Daddy gave us and we went outside really carefully and we saw Santa! And there was a Christmas tree! And then Sammy got scared and shot Santa with the pop gun but that was okay. And then Santa came over and gave us a big hug and told us that Daddy loves us very much even if he's always busy. And then he gave us some presents and then left. And in the morning we woke up and there were MORE presents under the tree! Daddy went and got some so there were presents from Santa and from Daddy as well. And I got Sammy a present and he tried to make me a card but it got all funny and sticky but that's okay because I still love it. And Daddy got all quiet and said that if Mommy was here she would be happy to see us happy and that she wanted us to be this happy all the time. And he said he was sorry that he couldn't do that. I said it was okay because he's busy being Superman so it's okay. And he smiled and gave me a big hug and then made me open my presents. And he got me more comic books! And Santa got me more toy cars and action figures! And Daddy got Sammy some toy cars too and Santa gave him a book with lots of facts and things because Sammy likes those things and Santa always knows best. We had some freeze dry turkey for dinner and it was really really yummy. And I heard Daddy praying later and he was talking to Mommy. And he said he was sorry but I don't know why. And he said that he hopes she noticed that he didn't give us any hunting stuff like weapons because he did that for her. I wish he did because then I could be Superman like him. But maybe some other time. But it was the best day ever and we got to have a lot of fun and be a real family! And we watched the Christmas specials on TV. It was awesome. I love Daddy and Sammy. They're the best family ever.

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**A/N: I was approached by a user by the name of "ghjrfvfcenhe" who asked if it was alright if they translated this story into Russian. That's fine by me, so keep an eye on their profile if you want to read this story in Russian, I guess!**

**I was also asked how long this story would be. Sadly, this is a very PWP story so I don't actually have an answer. Since it's a collection of short stories, it could potentially go on indefinitely. Sorry about the vague answer!**

**Hope you are enjoying so far! The next part will hopefully be up soon.**

**~FandomlyYours**


	8. Chapter 8

_Tuesday, January 1, 1985_

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I tried to make Sam and Daddy stay up until midnight but they fell asleep. Daddy was really tired so I let him sleep but just before midnight I woke up Sammy and we cheered at midnight. It was really fun. Then Daddy woke up and we thought he was gonna be angry but then he just smiled and looked sleepy because it was midnight and then he went and got some beer and Sammy and me wanted to have some but he said we were too small but then he changed his mind so he let me have a tiny bit. It was okay but a bit weird. Sammy didn't like it and he spat it out. Daddy laughed at us but it was okay because it was a good kind of laugh, not a mean one. Then we watched TV until morning. Daddy asked what our new year's rattle lotions were. I didn't know what that was so he said it was a sort of promise you make for the year. Then I asked why you call it a rattle lotion if it's just a promise and why it has to be a big word and then he laughed some more and said he didn't know. He said his rattle lotion was to be a better daddy and hang out with us more. I said he was already a good daddy and he gave me a big hug. Sammy shouted something about reading and I guess he wants to learn to read even though he's not even two yet. I said that this year I want to be just like Daddy and also I want to be the best big brother ever. And then Sammy shouted "but you are Dean" and then I gave him a really big hug too until he started crying because I squeezed him too tight. It was really really good.

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**A/N: Very excited to say that this fic has been translated into Russian by user "ghjrfvfcenhe"! You can read it in Russian here: ficbook readfic /977586. I'm very flattered, so thank you very much, ghjrfvfcenhe!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: TIME SKIP - 3 years later.**

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_Thursday, September 8, 1988_

I just found this again. It's been a few years. I guess I lost it. I should probably start trying to keep it again. Sam started school about a month ago. He's five now, by the way, and I'm nine. Dad started leaving us at home about a week after Sam started going to school. He's got bigger things to worry about. Sam seems to like school. He does pretty well, and I'm proud of him since Dad's never around to be proud like he's meant to be. Dad was away for the parent-teacher interview night so I went for him. The teacher seemed surprised, but I guess I'd better get used to that. I know it's not Dad's fault. There's lots of important stuff he has to do. But I don't think it's gonna get much better seeing the surprise on the teacher's faces every time they see me standing in the door instead of a man like Dad. Sam doesn't seem to mind that much. He's sorta used to Dad not being there, which is a bit sad, but I guess that's better. Anyway, I talked to Sam's teacher. He's doing great. I'm really proud of him. I've got to catch this journal up with a lot but Sam's hungry and I gotta make dinner. Later.

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**A/N (the second): PLEASE REVIEW! As a writer, reviews are like my source of energy and motivation. So pleeeeeeease let me know if you like the story or something because it makes my day!**


	10. Chapter 10

_Saturday, September 17, 1988_

Dad got home today. He was pretty tired but he got the monster he was after. He looked pretty beat up too so I helped stitch him up and I showed Sam how to do it. I thought he'd get scared and wander off but he just looked interested and passed me stuff. He's a good kid. He didn't get much for his birthday this year, unfortunately. Dad was out again. I bought Sammy a cake and a couple of comic books but I didn't have enough money for anything else, even though I saved up for like a month. Sam was pretty happy with it, though. He's used to this kind of life. There was a barbecue at school yesterday for Sam's grade and they were meant to invite their parents. I called Dad because it was kind of a big thing for Sam but it went to voicemail and Dad didn't get to pick up. I confronted him about it today but he said he didn't have reception. Sam was pretty upset when I told him Dad couldn't make it so I surprised him by going myself. He actually invited me first but I said I couldn't because I had class. I felt really bad for him after I called Dad because he got quite mopey and locked himself in his room, so I skipped class and turned up to the barbecue. I got in trouble for it but I don't mind, it was worth it to see a smile on Sam's face.


	11. Chapter 11

_Monday, September 19, 1988_

Sam got an award today at school. He actually gets a lot of awards but this one was really special and it was presented in front of the whole school. What's more, Dad was actually there. Sam's a quiet kid and he doesn't say much at school. Normally he just smiles and looks really shy. But he was up there on the stage today, and he grinned at me, and I waved and pointed to the back. And then Sammy saw Dad, and his entire face just lit up. It was brilliant. After the ceremony thing, Sam ran out the back and threw himself at Dad. Dad just picked him up and hugged him real tight. He was chuckling and there were tears on his face. I don't think it was just because of the award, even though that's a big thing, too. Dad was really happy to see Sammy. I could tell. And Sam was happy to see him, too, even though Dad isn't much of a dad sometimes, to be honest. It's good to see that they're still as close as they can be in our situation because sometimes I feel like Sam's getting distant from Dad. It means he gets closer to me, which I like a lot, but I feel sad for Dad because he lost Mom and now he's losing Sammy. But he'll always have me, and now it looks like Sam's here to stay as well even though I was secretly scared for a while that Sam would leave after he grew up. We went for a celebration dinner that night. Normally we just have takeout pizza but Dad actually took us to a real restaurant for a proper dinner because he said it was a special occasion. I don't remember seeing Sammy so happy for a really long time. It was kind of really awesome.

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**A/N: Pleeeease review! I'll love you if you follow/fave, of course, but reviews are so important to me, you have no idea how happy I feel when I get them (and slightly scared as well but whatever) so please just drop in a word and make my day? Love you guys x**


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